apathy

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse... Live in harmony with one another... Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone..." Romans 12:14-18

Our pastor has been preaching out of Romans 12 for quite some time.  I have to be honest, I've never given much thought to the powerful words spoken in this chapter after the more well-known first two verses.  But these sermons have been rocking my world, particularly in the area of loving my enemies.

There are some things in my life that have wounded me deeply... some "enemies" that I felt I was doing a pretty good job of loving.  I didn't feel any intense hatred or anger towards them.  I thought I was in a pretty good place in regards to the circumstances surrounding these hurts.  That's all the Lord really expects from me, right?  And then these words stopped me in my tracks.

"Apathy is another, highly dangerous, form of bitterness..."

You see, the command the Lord gives us is to LOVE our enemies.  It's not enough to simply not hate them.  The bible tells us to do good to the ones who have hurt us.  To treat them the way we ourselves desire to be treated.  And that, my friends, is so much harder than just ignoring them and letting that be enough.

So as I've prayed through these verses and mulled over these words, the command I have felt most compelled to obey is one that, at first glance seems simple... pray for my enemies.  But let me tell you- these are hands down some of the hardest prayers I have ever prayed.  As I have spent time praying for these individuals by name, asking the Lord to bring good to their families and their lives... to BLESS them, my heart has begun to change.

Am I there yet?  Not even close.  But as the days have gone by, I find myself praying those prayers a little less grudgingly, with a little more sincerity.  I've found that as I pray for them, layers of hurt (most of which I didn't even realize were there) have begun to peel away.  I'm feeling freer these days, like a weight is being lifted from weary shoulders.