apathy

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse... Live in harmony with one another... Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone..." Romans 12:14-18

Our pastor has been preaching out of Romans 12 for quite some time.  I have to be honest, I've never given much thought to the powerful words spoken in this chapter after the more well-known first two verses.  But these sermons have been rocking my world, particularly in the area of loving my enemies.

There are some things in my life that have wounded me deeply... some "enemies" that I felt I was doing a pretty good job of loving.  I didn't feel any intense hatred or anger towards them.  I thought I was in a pretty good place in regards to the circumstances surrounding these hurts.  That's all the Lord really expects from me, right?  And then these words stopped me in my tracks.

"Apathy is another, highly dangerous, form of bitterness..."

You see, the command the Lord gives us is to LOVE our enemies.  It's not enough to simply not hate them.  The bible tells us to do good to the ones who have hurt us.  To treat them the way we ourselves desire to be treated.  And that, my friends, is so much harder than just ignoring them and letting that be enough.

So as I've prayed through these verses and mulled over these words, the command I have felt most compelled to obey is one that, at first glance seems simple... pray for my enemies.  But let me tell you- these are hands down some of the hardest prayers I have ever prayed.  As I have spent time praying for these individuals by name, asking the Lord to bring good to their families and their lives... to BLESS them, my heart has begun to change.

Am I there yet?  Not even close.  But as the days have gone by, I find myself praying those prayers a little less grudgingly, with a little more sincerity.  I've found that as I pray for them, layers of hurt (most of which I didn't even realize were there) have begun to peel away.  I'm feeling freer these days, like a weight is being lifted from weary shoulders.

my two children

Before Lucy, any time I thought of having a second baby, my biggest fear was how could my heart possibly feel the same about another child.  I looked at John Mark and my heart felt like it would burst from the love I felt for him.  I couldn't imagine that I would ever look at another baby the same way.

And then I took the test that changed it all.  Suddenly, another baby was in the picture, and I felt my heart growing.  Turns out there was, in fact, room in my heart to love a second person with that same intense, heart bursting love. 

For a long time, I worried about John Mark and how his heart would handle having a baby sister.  Watching him love her has opened up this whole new level in my heart.  He loves his baby sister so much... so, so, so much.  It's one of my favorite things to watch him love her.

And now that miss Lucy has waltzed in and stolen our hearts completely, I can't imagine life without her.  Our family never felt incomplete without her, but it's a whole new kind of completeness now that she's here.  Having two kids is one of my life's greatest blessing.

Lucy Kate- month 3

Sweet Lucy girl-

Today you are THREE months old.  Where oh where have the months gone?  I was holding your sweet cousin last night and thinking to myself- how is it possible that just three short months ago this was YOU.

You weigh approximately 14 pounds (this is per the oh so accurate bathroom scale method!).  We've moved you up to a size 2 diaper and packed away those sweet tiny clothes.  You're in mostly 3-6 month clothes.

You've got quite the personality.  You are very expressive (read: LOUD) when you're upset about things.  In fact, you are even known to look the person holding you in the eye and yell louder when things aren't going your way.  Hopefully you'll just get all this out now as a baby... ha!

 Today you gave me your first great big belly laugh!  You've given us little giggles here and there, but this was the first true laugh.  It was so sweet and unexpected that my eyes welled up with tears.  My new goal is to catch it on video, which basically guarantees that you won't do it again for at least another week. :)

 This month we made several visits to the doctor and have finally put you on Zantac for acid reflux.  After a solid two weeks of screaming, crying and puking, I think we've finally turned a corner.  Your spitting up is in much smaller quantities, and you're happily eating the full amount of time.  Mommy is most relieved.

 I love you precious one, and I can't wait to see what the next month holds.

Love-
Mommy

the first tooth

A week ago, when JM got in the car from school he was so excited to show me his very first loose tooth.  That moment made me want to cry.  Losing teeth seems like such a big kid thing to do... I mean, shouldn't he still be my baby waiting to GET these teeth?  Time goes entirely too fast, I tell you!

 Today he got in the car with plastic tooth around his neck.  He jumped in and yelled "MOM!  My tooth fell out today during brain break!"

Part of me is sad that I didn't actually get to be there when the tooth came out.  Part of me is relieved... the thought of pulling a tooth kind of grosses me out... in fact, taking the tooth out of the necklace was enough contact with a tooth for me.

I think we'll leave the tooth pulling for daddy... I was never a fan of getting my own teeth pulled anyway!

be the center

"Oh, Christ be the center of our lives
Be the place we fix our eyes...

Four years ago this weekend we sang that song after accepting the call work with Middle School students at Henderson Hills Baptist Church.

Four years later, we sang this song in our new church home.  Last night my eyes filled with tears as I sang these words that have meant so much to me.

"You hold everything together...
You hold everything together..."

Those simple words have held such a profound truth for me throughout the journey of the past four years.  There have been amazing highs, greater joy than I could ever have hoped to experience.  There have been days that were exceedingly difficult and hurts that I couldn't on my own bear.

Through every step of the way, there was one constant... the One Who never changed or let me down.  My Jesus was there in the sunlight and in the shadows.  He is the One who goes before and goes behind.  He is the God who sees me.  He is the voice calling to me in the desert, beckoning me to follow hard after Him.  He is the One who holds everything together.

"And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together." Colossians 1:17

Valentine's Day 2012

I love Valentine's Day. Call me cheesy, or silly... but I love a day dedicated to telling those you love how much you love them.

Micah and I went out on Friday night to celebrate.  We went to dinner at Caffe Pronzo, then got dessert at Cuppies and Joe.  It was our first time to go out alone since Lucy was born.  We had a fabulous evening, talking and laughing.  It's always nice to spend an evening as a couple, not just mommy and daddy!

We started our Valentine's day with a pan-a-cake puff breakfast. It was yummy and fun to eat breakfast all together.  Mornings are usually rushed around our house, so it was nice to sit down together and start the morning with the ones I love.

After school, the kids and I went to Papa Murphy's to pick up a heart-shaped pizza and to Eileen's to pick up sugar cookies for dessert. When Micah got home from work, we ate our picnic in the living room and watched JM's valentine present- Star Wars the Clone Wars.

After the kids were in bed, Micah and I stayed up talking about Valentine's days past.  It's amazing how much we've grown and changed in the 9 Valentines we've had together.

It was the perfect kind of valentine's day- celebrating the ones I love most, doing the things we love.  I'm so blessed by these most precious gifts God has given to me.

family days

We've had some wonderful family filled weekends the past two weeks.  I had hopes and dreams of posting these a long time ago, but you know, life happens.  So here is a combined post with lots of pictures of our past two weekends with family.

A couple weekends ago, we visited my parents.  I always love going to my hometown and I especially love taking my kiddos.  Nothing makes me happier than to see how excited John Mark gets when we go to visit "Bebe and Poppy."  Even if he does get disappointed when Micah and I HAVE to go with him.

One of the reasons this is so important to me is that my grandparents were such a part of my life.  I love that my grandparents are getting to be a part of their little lives too.  I know they would go to the ends of the earth for all of us, and that is such a blessing.

This past weekend, my sister came to visit from Tulsa.  Her little boy, Wyatt, is 3 weeks older than Lucy.

Tiffany came over with Tanzi, and we had such a fun time playing together with all our babies.  I have such vivid memories of spending summers playing (and fighting, HA!) with Kim and Tiffany.  I hope our kids grow up as close as we were.

We are so blessed with our family.  And we get to see them all again this weekend, because Lucy's baby dedication is this weekend at church!

The Story of Us

Ah, 1:00- the sweet silence of nap time.  All the kiddos are down for their nap and in an effort to avoid cleaning my kitchen, I'm posting this fun "Love" survey I saw on Blue-Eyed Bride.  I'm linking up over to From Mrs. to Mama, where this survey is originally from.

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?
We started dating in October of 2002, which means we've been together for almost 9 1/2 years.  Wow.  That's a really long time.  (this is the oldest picture I have of the two of us that isn't a print... yeah, THAT makes me feel old!)

2. How did you meet? {What’s your “love” story?}
We met at he BCM at the University of Central Oklahoma.  I became good friends with his sister, Emily.  Micah began to spend more and more time with us, which I assumed was totally the norm.  After almost a year of spending time together in groups, he finally cornered me (he literally had to chase me around the BCM!) and asked me out.  I said yes and the rest is history!

3. If married, how long have you been married?
We have been married for almost 8 years. We got married on July 24, 2004.

4. If you are married, where did you get married? Big or small wedding?
We were married in my hometown of Central High, OK.  I'd say it was a medium-ish wedding.  I don't know exactly how many guests were there, but that small town church was packed!

5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!
We really don't.  Micah isn't a fan of nicknames, nor does his name really lend itself to any!  Go ahead and call him Mike... see what happens.  Oh, he does like to call me "shorty" just to irritate me...

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.
He is hands down the wisest, most humble and godly man I know.  His love for the Lord is so consuming, yet never displays itself in any kind of pride.  His love is completely unconditional, and nothing shakes it.  He is my rock- the steady hand that calms me when I need it most.  He challenges me to be the best version of myself and to grow in my relationship with the Lord.  I'm pretty sure that's more than three, but I could keep going forever.

7. Tell us how he proposed?
Setting the stage: My love language is words.  I love them.  You can hold my hand or sit by me for hours and that's great- but write me a letter and I'll cherish it forever.  Also, I may or may not have given him a timeline to propose... so he had told me we were going to Tulsa the next weekend for our "Christmas date."  I just knew that was going to be the night he did it.  Now, let's move on.  He picked me up on a Saturday night with roses and a card.  Nothing too out of the ordinary, so I wasn't suspicious yet.  We went to Starbucks, drank coffee and played board games- which we loved to do on our dates.  While we were there, he gave me another card, saying he couldn't decide between the two.  Still not that weird.  Next we went to Panera, site of our first date (rain had ruined our initial first date picnic plan).  As we ate our supper, he gave me a third card.  At this point, I'm getting suspicious.  We went back to my apartment to watch the first Lord of the Rings movie so I would be prepared to watch the next one when it came out later in the month.  I thought for sure we'd get there and he would propose.  And then he turned on the movie.  So we're sitting there, watching the stupid movie and I was SO MAD.  10 minutes into the movie (exactly, he later told me he was watching the clock the whole time!) he paused it and said he would be right back.  He went out the door and came back with a fourth card.  After I read the card, he got down on one knee and read a poem he had written for me.  We both cried; I said YES!  I ran across to my cousin's apartment and told her, then we drove to my parents to see them and tell them the good news!  It couldn't have been more perfect!

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?
Neither?  I'm not really either of those types of girls though. I usually get flowers and something I've been wanting. 

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?
Relax on the couch, definitely.  That's not to say I don't love the beach or sunsets, but I love to be relaxed at home.  I especially enjoy being in my sweatpants. :)

10. Tell us one thing you’d like to do with your significant other one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?
Honestly, the thing I love doing the most with Micah is serving.  I guess my dream would be going somewhere that let us both use our gifts.  Oh, and it would be cool to see Israel.

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine’s Day.
Since having John Mark, we've always spent the actual Valentine's Day at home with him.  We order heart pizza from Papa John's and eat it picnic style in the living room.  Last year I wrote little things I loved about both of them on hearts and put that around on the floor.  We always go out just the two of us either before or after.  This year we're going out on Friday.  Dinner at a yummy restaurant and maybe a movie.  I'd really like to see The Vow.

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine’s day?
Nothing in particular.  I'm horrible at thinking up things I want under pressure.  It's always after the fact that I think "oh man, I really wish I would have asked for ________."  But of course, my best gift ideas for others usually come to me randomly!

13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love.
Treat each other the way you want to be treated.  Give him the grace you want to receive.  Laugh a lot and don't take life too seriously.  Remember why you fell in love.  Fight hard to keep your marriage a safe place.  Never, ever talk bad about your spouse to a member of the opposite sex.

14. Show us a picture of what love means to you.