peace out, 2011

I'm ready for a new year.  And while there are no guarantees this year will be any better than last year, it is my prayer that the lessons I learned this year have prepared my heart for whatever may come. 

I don't have a ton of lofty goals for 2012.  I know this year will be all about new lessons- being a mommy to TWO kids, juggling schedules, spending less, building new relationships... So I've been thinking a lot about what I'd like to accomplish in this new year, and I came up with three goals.

1. Survive- life is different these days with a newborn in the house.  I'm relearning how to handle a baby, and doing that with a 5 year old who has been our world for his whole life isn't easy.  So surviving the year- all of us- is goal number one.
2. Meditate- I know that I don't have hours to spend in the Word... but I also realize that a little bit is better than nothing.  And in order to achieve goal #1, I'm seriously going to need Him to be in the picture.  Memorizing verses.  Reading a few verses instead of facebook or pinterest in some of those quiet moments.  These are the little things I'd like to do more of in 2012.
3. Simplify- Life gets so chaotic and it's easy to lose focus on what really matters. I want to find the things that bring me the most fulfillment and joy and focus on those things.  I want to get rid of the clutter, both in my home and in my heart, to make room for the things that really matter.  I want to stress less about the little things and let peace reign.

So there you have it.  I feel like those things go hand in hand, and in achieving any of them, I will be finding growth in the others.

“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland."
Isaiah 43:18-19

my 2011 book list

I love to read.  It's one of my favorite ways to pass the time.  In fact, I'd almost always choose to read a book over watching TV or a movie.  I read more this year than I have in a long time.  The Kindle I got for my birthday probably has something to do with that.  Especially once the library started to offer free downloads to Kindles.  I love that.

This probably isn't a complete list, because I wasn't the best at keeping track of my books in Goodreads (be my friend!) before I got my Kindle.  Anyway, here is the list of books that I read in 2011.

1. Her Mother's Hope, Francine Rivers
2. Her Daughter's Dream, Francine Rivers
3. Sundays at Tiffany's, James Patterson
4. Water for Elephants, Sara Gruen
5. American Wife, Curtis Sittenfield
6. The Nanny Diaries, Emma McLaughlin
7. Nanny Returns, Emma McLaughlin
8. Firefly Lane, Kristin Hannah
9. The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd
10. The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls
11. Mini Shopaholic, Sophie Kinsella
12. The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels, Ree Drummond
13. True Colors, Kristin Hannah
14. Winter Garden, Kristin Hannah
15. Night Road, Kristin Hannah
16. Redemption, Karen Kingsbury
17. Remember, Karen Kingsbury
18. Return, Karen Kingsbury
19. Rejoice, Karen Kingsbury
20. Reunion, Karen Kingsbury
21. Fame, Karen Kingsbury
22. Forgiven, Karen Kingsbury
23. Found, Karen Kingsbury
24. Family, Karen Kingsbury
25. Forever, Karen Kingsbury
26. Til We Have Faces: A Myth Retold, C.S. Lewis
27. A Billion Reasons Why, Kristin Billerbeck
28. Life's a Beach, Claire Cook
29. A Lineage of Grace, Francine Rivers
30. The Book Thief, Markus Zusak
31. Something Borrowed, Emily Giffin
32. Something Blue, Emily Giffin
33. Baby Proof, Emily Giffin
34. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, J.K. Rowling
35. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, J.K. Rowling
36. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, J.K. Rowling
37. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, J.K. Rowling
38. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, J.K. Rowling
39. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, J.K. Rowling
40. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, J.K. Rowling
41. Anne of Green Gables, Lucy Maud Montgomery
42. The Bay at Midnight, Diane Chamberlain
43. Before the Storm, Diane Chamberlain
44. The Courage Tree, Diane Chamberlain
45. The Midwife's Confession, Diane Chamberlain
46. Cold Sassy Tree, Olive Ann Burns
47. Shanghai Girls, Lisa See
48. Dreams of Joy, Lisa See
49. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson
50. The Girl Who Played with Fire, Stieg Larsson
51. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, Stieg Larsson
52. Matched, Ally Condie
53. The Paris Wife: A Novel, Paula McLain
54. The Sugar Queen, Sarah Addison Allen
55. The Peach Keeper, Sarah Addison Allen
56. Safe Haven, Nicholas Sparks
57. Unbroken: A World War II Story..., Laura Hillenbrand
58. The Baby Sleep Book, William Sears
59. Bringing up Boys, James Dobson
60. Everyone Runs: Run to Win, Christine Caine

So there you have it.  Some of those were re-reads (Harry Potter!) and some of those are boring mom books, but hey- I read it so it counts, right?

What have you read this year?  Leave me a comment- I'm compiling my "to read" list of must reads for 2012!

a very merry Christmas

I started this post 3 days ago and am still not finished.  A little girl has decided the only way to sleep in the day is laying on top of me... but she's asleep in her swing right now, so let's try this again!

family of 4

We did Christmas with my family the weekend before Christmas, since my grandparents were going out of town over the holiday.

my two babies

In the past, John Mark has been the only kid at Christmas.  Boy, was that different this year!  We had JM (5), Tanzi Rose (1), Lucy and Wyatt- both babies.  It made for an interesting, busy, LOUD weekend, but it was so much fun.

John Mark with his cousin Tanzi

We ate a big lunch and opened presents on Saturday afternoon.  That evening we ate finger foods (my favorite meal!) and then played cards.  It took us forever to play one game, thanks to diaper changes, feeding babies, etc.  But so worth it.

miss Tanzi Rose

cousin wyatt

 Sunday we went to church, then ate lunch at Nanny's.  Lucy slept through the whole service and was happy to be passed around to all of Bebe's friends.  It was a beautiful weekend, filled with the family I love the most.

our family

 Christmas weekend was just the four of us.  It was a little strange to be alone at home, but in the end I loved it.  We baked sugar cookies, watched a couple of movies and opened Christmas eve gifts (PJ's and a movie for us to watch together).  After JM went to bed, Micah and I filled their stockings.  Stockings might be my favorite part of Christmas morning.  It makes me smile.

showing the cookies he baked with daddy

Christmas Eve jammies

 Christmas morning I got up at 6 with Lucy, then got to work getting everything ready for the big morning.  By 7:30, I had Christmas lights on, lunch prepped, and cinnamon rolls baking.  I woke up Micah and JM, and we all gathered in the living room to have our Christmas.  We opened presents, ate cinnamon rolls and got ready for church.  Mom & Dad met us at church, then came home with us.

baby girl with her presents

my present from JM

daddy and nart

It was a great Christmas weekend.  I'm so thankful for my wonderful life.

Lucy Kate- month 1

Oh Lucy girl, in one short month you have stolen the hearts of everyone who meets you- most of all mine!  Spending my days with you is such a joy.  I love holding you, kissing your squishy cheeks and staring into those dark, dark eyes!

 You were eating for 20 minutes every 3 hours, but at your one month appointment, the doctor had me cut back on the length of time you eat to see if that would help you not spit up as much.  We've cut back to 15 minutes, and it has helped so much.  I'm extremely grateful that you are a quick, efficient eater because with your brother running around, I don't have hours to devote to feeding you. What can I say?  You LOVE to eat!

Nights vary as to how long you sleep.  You have gone stretches as long as 5 hours, but mostly it's awake every 3-4 hours.  You usually drift back to sleep quickly when you're done eating.  In fact, there are times I have to fight to get you to eat the full time.  But I've learned it's worth it to do that when we're both awake rather than letting us both fall asleep for 30 minutes when you remember you're hungry!

You have moved on up to a size 1 diaper and are still wearing mostly 0-3 month clothes.  Dressing you is one of my favorite parts of the day, although you're not so much a fan of having your clothes changed.  You wiggle and scream the whole time I'm putting clothes on you.

Month One stats:
Weight- 10 lbs, 11 oz (90%)
Length- 22.5 inches (90%)

 

I love you so much, precious one and I am so thankful God chose ME to be your mommy.  You have given our family a joy-filled bright spot.  I can't wait to see what the next month holds.

Love,
Mommy

'tis the season

I love Christmas.  I love everything about it- the twinkly lights, parties, food, buying gifts for those I love... but I especially love the music!  As I sat here this morning with my cup of coffee and sleeping baby (scratch that- screaming baby), listening to my spotify Christmas playlist I was inspired to write a little post about my all-time favorite Christmas songs.

1.  O Holy Night- Point of Grace
This is my favorite Christmas song- hands down.  And I will forever love the Point of Grace version of this song.  Judge all you want, but that first Christmas CD they did will go down forever as one of the most played CD's in my collection of Christmas CD's... 

2.  Come Thou Long Expected Jesus- Chris Tomlin
A close second, the lyrics of this song make me want to cry from their profoundness.  And the a capella version on the Chris Tomlin CD is beautiful.

3.  Christmas Don't Be Late- Alvin & the Chipmunks
Don't try to be cool and pretend you don't love this song... and when Theodore belts "meeeeeeee I want a hula hoop" you can't help but smile.

4.  Away in a Manger- Brad Paisley
When I think of this Christmas carol, I have vivid memories of sitting with my nanny in the little church I grew up in singing this.  The Brad Paisley version of this song fits those memories perfectly.

5. Where Are You Christmas?- Faith Hill
I just love this song.  It's sweet and perfect.

6.  Baby, It's Cold Outside- Lee Ann Womack & Harry Connick, Jr.
This was a tough one to decide on my favorite version.  This one edged out the new Lady Antebellum version, but just barely.

7.  I Believe- Natalie Grant
The lyrics to this song are powerful and the true message of Christmas is so clear.  And Natalie Grant has a gorgeous voice.

8.  We Need A Little Christmas- Glee Version
I have always liked this song, but Glee put it on my top 10 list.

9.  O Come, O Come Emmanuel- David Crowder Band
Another song with powerful lyrics.  There are a lot of great arrangements of this song, this one just happens to be my favorite this year.

10.  All I Want for Christmas is You- Mariah Carey or Michael Buble
This one is a classic that everyone knows all the words to.  I love the original, but I love all things Michael Buble, so this one is a tie.

There you have it.  My top 10 list of Christmas songs for your playlist.  I was going to link to these songs on amazon or something, but that's a little impossible to do when trying to feed a baby and type.  So go find them yourself. :)

What songs make the season for you?

introducing

Now that we have the past year out of the way, let's get back to life as we know it today.

One of the biggest blessings of this past year arrived on November 18, 2011.  Introducing Lucy Kate Rigdon- 8 pounds, 7 ounces of pure JOY!

Lucy Kate

We arrived at the hospital at 5:30 Friday morning.  They checked us in and we settled into our holding room until surgery.  Micah and I sat in the room, watching random TV and waiting for 7:30 to roll around so we could meet this little one.

waiting for surgery

 Soon the nurse was walking me back to surgery.  They got me good and numb; I laid there shivering in the SO COLD room.  Micah came in and we sat there talking.  Before too long, I heard that sound I had been waiting 9 months to hear- the precious cries of my baby girl.

first glimpse of my girl

As they took care of me, Micah was with Lucy getting her cleaned up.  It was so surreal to lay there, thinking this tiny person I had waited for was finally here.  She was here and perfect.

first kisses for my sweet girl

When I got back to my room, they brought her to me.  Micah and I sat there, just staring at our precious daughter.  After we'd had our time with her, the family got to come in an meet her.  To say that her big brother was in love would be an understatement.  He sat on the couch, holding her and just talking to her in the sweetest little voice.

big brother love

And just like that, we became a family of four.  My heart overflows with love for these precious gifts from the Lord.

family of four

"The Lord has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy."
Psalm 126:3

finally- a post

I'm not going to lie.  This year has been hard- quite possibly the hardest year of my 30 years.  I've experienced enough change, heartbreak, and pain to last me for quite some time. 

Throughout the year, as trial after trial has rolled over my heart, one thing has not changed.  My God has been faithful.  In those moments when I found myself overwhelmed with heartbreak, He was there.  When the tears fell on my pillow in the darkness of night, He was there.  On the days when anger and bitterness threatened to overtake the hope in my heart, He was there.

Is this the direction I would have picked for my life?  Not at all.  Do I miss the way things were?  Sometimes.  Am I happy?  Most of the time.  Am I at peace?  Most definitely.

So, while I am not at all sad to see 2011 come to an end, I am ending it with a full heart.  Surprisingly enough, I find myself with infinitely more blessings than when this year began.  These blessings have come in unexpected places- lessons learned, deeper relationships, a new church family, appreciation for my husband.  The greatest blessing of all comes from somewhere deep within- a place of deeper intimacy with my Savior.  And at the end of the day, I would walk through another year like this one to know Him more.

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always
--always, by kristian stanfill

Week 29

Wow... it's been a while.  I wrote a recap at week 26, but didn't have a picture that night so I was going to wait to post it.  That seems to be what happens... I never remember I want to take a picture until night after I've put on comfy clothes and washed my face- then I don't think about it again until the next night.  So here is week 29.  JM was sick today, so we didn't go to church, so I have no makeup on.  If you're lucky, I'll have Micah take a pic of me tomorrow and I'll post it. :o)  I'll put week 26 at the end of this post.

How Far Along: 29 weeks

How big is Baby? 17 inches, 3.1 pounds- about the size of butternut squash

Total Weight Gain/Loss: at my last appointment I was up to 25 pounds... yes, that is 10 pounds in the month since the appointment before it.  I'm hoping 10 pounds a month isn't going to be the trend from here on out...

Maternity Clothes: yes... and I am currently hitting the point where nothing is long enough for me.  Come on fall, so I can get a few things to get me through to the end!

Gender: GIRL!  Lucy Kate Rigdon

Movement: Yes!  Man, she is crazy these days- especially at night, right around bedtime... a night owl, perhaps?

Sleep: It hasn't been great this week.  I wake up a lot and am generally just more uncomfortable these days.  Plus the heartburn keeps me miserable as I'm falling asleep.

What I miss: sleeping... picking up JM... bending over- HA!

Cravings: FALL FOOD- soup, chili... and dr. pepper- seriously, I want it ALL THE TIME.  I'm exercising considerable restraint only drinking one each day... and cereal!

Food Aversions: Bananas... and we got some hummus the other day, and it just wasn't very good.

Symptoms: Heartburn is killing me!!  And I have found I get nauseous if I don't eat frequently- kind of like the first trimester again, which is weird!

Best Moment: getting Lucy's crib!  It's starting to feel like there's really a baby coming!

---

How Far Along: 26 weeks

How big is Baby? 15 inches, 2.2 pounds- about the size of an English cucumber

Total Weight Gain/Loss: at my last appointment I was up to 15 pounds- basically doubling my weight gain since the last appointment.  My next appt is Friday, so I will know my official number then.  Hopefully I didn't double again, but I definitely feel big!

Maternity Clothes: yes... I feel like this question is getting repetitive... let's just assume I'm only wearing maternity from here on out.  I'll let you know when I outgrow the clothes I have right now.

Gender: GIRL!  Lucy Kate Rigdon

Movement: Yes!  Last night she was so crazy I literally felt nauseous for about an hour.  Her wiggling was also super distracting this morning during church- ha!

Sleep: I've been sleeping ok, but I find when I'm asleep it's a really HARD sleep and I wake up stiff and sore.

What I miss: cookie dough... running... picking up JM (he's gotten too heavy for me!)

Cravings: cookies of any type- I found Keebler Coconut Dreams the other day and they taste just like samoas!  Oh, and I ate an entire box of salt and pepper triscuits with cheese in a week at the office!

Food Aversions: I think I might be over most of these for now? Except for bananas...

Symptoms: Heartburn is back in full force!  I have to sit up on the couch for quite a while after meals and I eat tums like candy!

Best Moment: Watching her wiggle around- even through my shirts!  She's getting so big!

it's john mark TIMOTHY rigdon...

It was no secret to both Micah and me that when we named John Mark, his name was probably going to cause some issues for the rest of his life.  Every time we go to a new doctor or dentist, etc. they almost always call out "John Rigdon."  It's become second nature to respond "it's actually John Mark" - you know, like the PAPER you're holding in your hand says on that "goes by" line.  He is typically oblivious to any name other than his full name.

For the past few days, I haven't been able to figure out why he was never waiting in the designated place for my car when I pulled into the pick-up lane at school.  I always have to hand a teacher my sign and soon, he comes running out and jumps in the car.  Yesterday, the mystery was solved.

Me: "Hey buddy!  How was your day?"
JM: "GREAT!  Mom... you are not even going to BELIEVE it- there is someone who goes to my school and his name is JOHN RIGDON."

I couldn't contain my laughter.  I laughed for quite a while and eventually explained to him that John Rigdon was, most likely, him.  They probably just didn't say "mark" when the radioed in to the cafeteria to bring him out.  I told him that whenever he hears that he really should just go on up to the front.  And if there is, in fact, a John Rigdon who goes to his school, well they can say hello.

And the title of this post comes from about a week ago when JM and Micah went fishing with our friend Jason.  I don't remember why, but at some point in the evening Jason said "John Mark Rigdon" and JM's reply from the backseat, under his breath and a little exasperated, "it's John Mark TIMOTHY Rigdon."

Moral of the story: if you're going to name your kid a complicated double name, just get ready.  Because no one will EVER understand.  Ha! 

first day of school

Today was the first day of school around here.  I went to bed teary-eyed thinking about my sweet boy being at such a big school all alone for an entire day.  John Mark went to bed excited about going to a new school.  Typical!

He woke up this morning around 7:15 chanting "FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!  FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!"  He reminded me so much of Nemo- ha!  After getting out of bed, we turned on magic school bus and he said "mommy, I"ll snuggle you a little bit since I'm going to school all day."  After some snuggles, I got around and made him breakfast- he requested scrambled eggs and jelly toast cut into the little squares like Bebe gives him.

After breakfast and getting ready, we headed out to the porch for first day of school pictures.  I still remember every morning standing on the porch with a piece of paper my mom had written our grade on.  Of course I had to carry on this tradition with John Mark, but I decided to take it up a notch by using Lesley's awesome chalkboard.

Doesn't he look so big?  I can't believe that just 5 short years ago, he wasn't even a month old.  And now here he is, a great big Kindergartener.  And think... in another 5 years I'm going to be doing this all over again...

I tried to get a cute shot of his backpack, but this came out a little dark.  In case you hadn't noticed, we're kind of on a star wars kick. 

And a lunch box shot- again with star wars and I don't even know what that pose is.

We loaded up in the car and drove to his school.  I took a cute picture of him in front of his school sign and then headed into the building.  It took everything in me to not cry as we walked down the hall.  The thought of not wanting to be the crazy crying mom for the rest of the year was enough to make me pull it together.  We walked into his classroom where his teacher was waiting.  We found his cubby, put up his backpack and gave a few more hugs and kisses. 

I left him there, walked out the door and down the street to my car.  I got in the car and that's when I started to cry.  I really didn't cry as much as I expected (I probably got most of my tears out in the weeks leading up to this morning). 

I spent my day getting glucosed tested at the doctor (woo-hoo), buying JM bedding for his new big boy room and eating lunch with Mallory.  It was a nice day and before I knew it, 3:00 had rolled around and it was time to go pick him up from school.  I parked down the street, walked to the door and realized I had left the paper with his name on it in the car.  So I walked BACK to the car, got the sign and back to the school.  I was a sweaty mess by the time my boy was finally released to me. 

We walked back to the car and took a trip to our favorite cookie shop for cookies and a juice box (or a large ice water for the sweaty pregnant momma!).  JM told me about his day- his new friends, his teacher, what he did on the playground.  He loved everything about school and can't wait until Monday.  I guess I couldn't ask for more than a happy boy at the end of the day!

life, lately

Life has definitely taken over and left me with very little time/energy/emotions to blog about anything!  I've managed to skip blogging about a trip to Dallas with my bests, John Mark's 5th birthday and our anniversary-not to mention my last pregnancy update was 6 weeks ago!  Let's just say I'm a LOT bigger... ha!  I promise I'll post a pregnancy update this weekend.

For now, I just have to talk about my sweet boy.  See, he's 5 now and where I come from- turning 5 equals one thing- KINDERGARTEN. 

Not to make excuses, but because of the craziness of this entire year, I missed pretty much every deadline concerning school.  I missed kindergarten information day in the spring, which means I've gone into this whole school thing pretty much blind.  When I finally DID get around to enrolling him in school, I was under the impression he would be going to school half-day.  I made arrangements to have childcare for him and thought I was good to go.  It wasn't until two weeks ago that I found out his school ONLY offers all day kindergarten.

Let me just tell you, that was a meltdown waiting to happen.  I managed to not cry until I hung up with the ever-so nice lady from the school.  But as soon as the phone screen said "end" I was in tears.  I cried for DAYS thinking about my baby being in that big ol' school for so many hours.  And you don't even want to know the breakdown that occurred when I envisioned him eating lunch in a cafeteria!

 But today was information day, and we got to go to school together and meet his teacher.  I saw the cafeteria (not too scary) and walked through the gym.  We saw his classroom, his cubby and where I will drop him off and pick him up everyday.  And I managed to not cry- which for a 25 week pregnant mommy taking her baby to school for the first time, is a pretty big deal!

Now as for Friday, when I get him all delivered and sent to school for the day, I make no promises.  My only hope is that I make it to the car before I hysterically burst into tears.  I mean, I don't want to give JM a complex for having a crazy mom, do I?

sheryl irene rigdon, 1955-2011

After a 5 month battle with cancer, Micah's precious mom went to be with her Jesus on Thursday.  It's strange how so many emotions can be wrapped up in a single event. 

There is sadness- a sorrow that her life on earth is over... weeping over the two grandchildren who will never meet their grandmother.  Sadness for the husband and children who are left behind to pick up life and somehow move on.

There is rejoicing- her body is whole and no longer in pain... she is with her Maker, finally getting the answers to those questions, meeting those beloved attributes for herself.

There are sleepless nights- when the loneliness and depth of emotions seem too overwhelming to carry on... when the tears are so continual, it seems impossible to cry any more.

There is love- an awesome remembrance over the love shown to each of us, and a gratefulness for each day spent giving and receiving that love.  Love between the family as each person comes together and forms a strength and bond that will carry on for many years to come.

There is thanksgiving- thankfulness for the life lived, the privilege of having lived life with such an incredible woman who overcame great difficulty to become a woman of faith... gratefulness at the 5 months given to us to prepare and say goodbye...

A thousand more emotions pass through our hearts and mind each minute of the day, but through every step of the way, there is an overwhelming sense of peace.  "The peace that surpasses all understanding" has been so evident and real, that it cannot be argued that we serve a sovereign God.  And while we cannot understand His timing or His purpose, we must rest in His goodness.

"Because of the LORD’s great love 
we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; 
great is your faithfulness." 
Lamentations 3:22-23 

*to read the obituary and for more information regarding the services, click here.

mommy guilt

This pregnancy has been so much the same as my first with JM.  And in other ways, it couldn't be more different.  Which I guess is pretty normal...

Some of these differences I expected.  I knew that I would be a little more nervous this time around.  When I got pregnant with JM, I had nothing to really compare it to.  I was one of the first of my friends to be pregnant and everything went so normal.  In the years since JM was born, I've known a lot of people who have dealt with really hard things surrounding pregnancy.  So I knew I would be scared.

The one thing I couldn't have seen coming was the GUILT I have felt over having another baby and what this means for John Mark.  It's been the three of us for FIVE years- that's a long time.  We have our ways of doing things... JM has been our world and life for so long- it's hard to imagine throwing another person into the mix.  Throw in the 5 THOUSAND comments I have heard about his world being rocked and how much life is going to change... blah, blah, blah... I can quickly become a mess.

Don't get me wrong- none of this is coming from my sweet boy.  He couldn't be more excited to finally be a big brother... and he loves this baby so much.  Today he told me that he will change all of her diapers so I won't have to.  Precious...  But his world has changed so much just by other circumstances this year, that it makes me sad to know this is throwing something else into the mix.

So I've spent a great deal of time praying that the Lord will calm my heart.  Reading verses reminding me that this is all a part of His divine plan- none of this is a surprise.  I have learned so much in this past year about the sovereignty of the Lord.  I just need to rest in that during this joyous time as I have learned to in the trials.


"The fear of man and what they plan will fade
But we know You alone are God of every day...
My hope is in the Lord."
--Day after Day, Kristian Stanfill

Week 19

*let's just ignore the top half of this photo... it was 11:00 when I remembered I needed to take a picture and was too lazy to do anything but get off the couch with the camera... we'll just pretend my hair isn't a hot mess and I actually still have make-up on!


How Far Along: 19 weeks

How big is Baby? 6.5 inches, 8 ounces... although the ultrasound said 11 ounces- already a big one! :)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 9 pounds- but after tomorrow's 4th of July feast, I fully expect it to be more

Maternity Clothes: yes... I feel like this question is getting repetitive... let's just assume I'm only wearing maternity from here on out.  I'll let you know when I outgrow the clothes I have right now.

Gender: GIRL!  Lucy Kate Rigdon

Movement: Yes!  She's definitely a wiggler... it was fun to see her moving at the ultrasound.  And she still LOVES her big brother's laugh!

Sleep: another restless week... I guess I should just get used to it.  I did bring another pillow in to put between my knees, and that has helped my hips not be as stiff in the mornings.

What I miss: normal clothes... sleeping... running

Cravings: water... is that a weird thing to crave?  I have seriously been so thirsty all week!

Food Aversions: I think I might be over most of these for now? Except for bananas...

Symptoms: This week I had some serious pain in my right side and hips... ligaments stretching, no fun!

Best Moment: The ultrasound on Friday and finding out we're having a girl- and that she's healthy!

It's A...

GIRL!

Lucy Kate Rigdon

Week 18

Edited to add: I wrote this on Sunday night after visiting the Taste of Edmond festival with friends.  I was waiting for Micah to take a picture of me to publish when suddenly the heat and the fried food combined with the baby and I wasn't feeling so well... So that's why this post is late.  And I have no picture.


How Far Along: 18 weeks

How big is Baby? 6 inches, 1/2 pound (that's right... we're in the pounds!)- about the size of a mango

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 7 pounds (per the scale in the office bathroom)

Maternity Clothes: Pretty much exclusively... again, I don't understand people that get by without maternity clothes... lucky!

Gender: Friday, Friday... gonna find out on Friday!  Have you voted?  So far the poll says girl!

Movement: Yes, yes, yes!  My favorite thing!  And the baby loves to hear JM laugh... whenever he's being silly it's going crazy in there!

Sleep: Eh... this week I haven't slept great.  I find myself restless and waking up randomly in the night.

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach... not thinking about my caffeine intake for the day

Cravings: WATERMELON!!  and popsicles... probably because it's a million degrees right now!

Food Aversions: I think I might be over most of these for now? Except for bananas...

Symptoms: Um, I can't stop eating... or sweating (ha!)

Best Moment: Feeling those first baby flutters and also realizing how active the baby is when JM is around- makes me excited to see them together!

My 30th Birthday Surprise

Last August, I emailed Lesley and simply reminded her that my 30th birthday was coming up- in June.  Don't judge- my birthday is always in the busiest part of the year and sometimes gets overlooked.  Since this was a big one, I wanted to bring in 30 with all my best friends!  Oh, and did I mention that I wanted my party to be a surprise?

As my birthday neared, so did my questions about my birthday surprise.  For those of you who don't know- I'm not really the best at keeping secrets or letting those I love keep secrets!  I had several clues and things, so I knew that a party was in fact happening at some point.  But I have to give it to my friends- they totally kept this secret.

I had a VBS meeting at the offices on Sunday afternoon.  My friends and Micah had told me we were going out to dinner after the meeting, so I was dressed up and ready to go after it was over.  At the end of the meeting, my boss was asking me all these random questions... when suddenly 3 monkeys in sombreros ran in speaking in Spanish accents...

They put a mask over my face, tied my hands and put a surgical mask (I still don't get that one!!) and led me out the door to a waiting car.  The car took off and drove like crazy all around the parking lot.  I told them that I get car sick (TRUTH!) and they let me take the mask off.  We drove all around Edmond- through Taco Bell, where we got some strange looks (and cussed at!)- and all over.  Eventually they put the mask back on me and we drove around a bit until they led me out of the car and up a sidewalk.

When they took off my mask, I was surrounded by my closest friends, who all yelled "Surprise!" and then started singing happy birthday.

John Mark ran up to me and grabbed me in a hug.  He was so sweet and so excited to be throwing me a surprise party.

I grabbed a couple of pics with my captors-

and moved onto one of the best nights ever, filled with all my favorite things- swimming, eating super yummy food and my precious friends!

 

I have THE BEST friends in the entire world.  The hosts, planners, cooks, kidnappers and everyone who came are all hold such a special place in my heart.  I thank the Lord for bringing them into my life.

Week 16

We've made it to 16 weeks- just 4 weeks away from halfway!  I can't believe how quickly this time has gone.  I've felt really good, just a little worn out from VBS preparation this weekend.  Here's the run down.  Oh, and please excuse my hair in this picture.  The wind at the lake was CRAZY!

How Far Along: 16 weeks

How big is Baby? 5 inches, 5 ounces- about the size of a turnip

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 5 pounds  (still don't have a scale, so that's from my last appointment)

Maternity Clothes: Pretty much exclusively... I still have a couple of dresses and stretchier shirts that work 

Gender: July 1st is the big day!! Have you voted?  So far the poll says girl!

Movement: I think I maybe felt something last night, but then my stomach growled, so I wasn't sure.  It's still early.

Sleep: Besides waking up every night from 4:00-4:30, I'm sleeping pretty good.

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach, cold sandwiches and running

Cravings: Cold fruit- peaches and apples, cold from the fridge are so good!  And  cheese in any form.

Food Aversions: I think I might be over most of these for now? Except for bananas...

Symptoms: Um, I can't stop eating... I would really eat all day long.  I'm feeling like John Mark these days- ha!

Best Moment: Seeing all of your votes for a girl, and getting everything ready for VBS at Henderson Hills.  It's one of the hardest, most rewarding things I get to do in my job!

BOY or GIRL?

In exactly three weeks, we'll have the ultrasound that tells us if this baby is a boy or a girl.  People ask me all the time which I think it is, and I really don't know.  There are times I'm certain it's a boy... and other times I just know it's a girl.  With John Mark I always had a suspicion that he was a boy.  I can't say I really feel either way this time.  So I'll be as surprised as you!

I've added a poll to the side of my page- right over there above the "Meet Us" page.  So take a minute and come cast your vote!

In order for you to make a well-informed decision, I'll give you a list of typical "gender-reveal" kind of symptoms and how they stack up against my first pregnancy. :)

-Sickness: I didn't have intense morning (or otherwise) sickness with either pregnancy.  No puking or nausea or any of those typical things.

-Exhaustion: I can't be entirely certain, since I found out about JM so late in the game, but I was SO tired this time around.  Maybe I can blame that on knowing I was pregnant and being more aware... I'm not sure.

-Emotions: With John Mark, I was crazy.  I admit it... I had rage.  This time around, I have tears... oh, the tears!  I cry all. the. time.

-Cravings: I've craved lots of random things this time, but the consistent things would be sweets (anything sweet!!) and cheese.  The first time around I craved meat... like ate batches of sausage balls at a time.  I don't know if any of that matters... just a thought.

-Heart Rate: JM's heartrate, while high for a boy, was never above 155.  This one has had a heartrate in the 160's.

Okay... I think those are the biggest wives' tales for predicting the gender.  Now it's your turn!  So come on over and cast your vote.  We'll make the big reveal in about three weeks!

Week 15

Sorry I'm late getting this up... I've been busy with things, like turning 30.  I had such a fun birthday weekend and as soon as I get pictures from paparazzi Jason, I'll tell you all about it.  Somehow in the weekend festivities I forgot to take a picture, which is too bad because I'm starting to look for real pregnant!


How Far Along: 15 weeks

How big is Baby? 4-5 inches, 3-5 ounces- about the size of an avacado

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 5 pounds

Maternity Clothes: Yep!  I got some gift cards for my birthday and bought a couple new shirts and things... I don't for the life of me understand people who wear their regular clothes throughout pregnancy.  I start showing and any ability to wear my old clothes flies straight out the window.

Gender: July 1st is the big day!!  I need to put a survey thing on here so we can have a vote and see who is right!

Movement: still nothing... I'm anxiously waiting for those first flutters.

Sleep: Besides waking up every night from 4:00-4:30, I'm sleeping pretty good.

What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach... and cookie dough

Cravings: It's still mostly when I hear people talking about something, or see a picture of food, I am suddenly in desperate need of that exact food.  For example, I stopped at sonic the other day for a drink, and the lady next to me ordered cheddar peppers, so I had to throw some of those in there too.  Weird, I know.

Food Aversions: I think I might be over most of these for now?  I had some coffee the other day and it didn't make me gag.  I still haven't eaten a banana...

Symptoms: Besides feeling like I've grown a TON in the past week, I think it was a relatively symptom free week.  Micah would probably tell you otherwise, I just can't remember- ha!

Best Moment: The doctor's appointment and hearing the heartbeat- 163!  Also being surrounded by all my favorite people this weekend celebrating my birthday.

summer reading

I love reading, and there's nothing better than laying by a pool with a glass of lemonade and a good book.  Something about the sunshine and the smells of summer that just make me want to read!

I've read several books lately that I've really enjoyed.

 I know, I know... I'm years late in hopping on the Karen Kingsbury train.  But I started the Baxter family series a couple of months ago and I'm over halfway through the second series about family.  Finishing this series is definitely on my "to-read" for the summer.  If you haven't read these, I highly recommend them.  You'll laugh, cry and finish the book secretly wishing you could be a Baxter!

I read this book in about a day and a half.  I had heard so much hype about this book, and sometimes I think that ruins things.  I don't know what I was expecting, but something more for sure.  It was an excellent story line, with characters who made me love them and hate them.  And as someone who isn't that much of an animal person, I found myself crying at the cruel treatment of the animals on the circus.  So, I liked the book a lot, I just wish I had read the book BEFORE everyone told me how amazing it was! 

I read another book by Kristin Hannah last year, Firefly Lane.  I loved her writing style, so when I saw this book on the sale rack at Barnes & Noble, I had to pick it up.  The story line started a little slow, but quickly picked up speed less than halfway through the book.  Much like with Firefly Lane, once this book sucked me in, I was hooked.  Hannah is an excellent writer when it comes to evoking emotion from the readers.  I cried huge tears at multiple times in this book.

So there you have it- that's what I've been reading.  What do YOU think I should put on my bookshelf for this summer?  I'll post again in a week or so with my summer book list.

Week 13

How Far Along: 13 weeks

How big is Baby? 3 inches, 1.5 ounces- about the size of a lemon

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 2 pounds

Maternity Clothes: I finally got those out of the attic... it was fun looking through everything and remembering wearing them when pregnant with John Mark.  Unfortunately, my one pair of maternity jeans were missing... I have no idea what I could have done with those.  I have my eye on these though...

Gender: We won't know for another 4 or 5 weeks... hopefully we'll schedule that ultrasound at my next appointment.  Although JM is still holding onto his little sister theory!

Movement: nothing yet

Sleep: Pretty good- I don't remember too many restless nights, so I guess that's a good sign.

What I miss: Drippy eggs!  I made breakfast for dinner this week and all I wanted was a sunny-side up egg with my breakfast potatoes...

Cravings: Wednesday afternoon I started thinking about chili cheese fries and I couldn't stop... I ate chili cheese tots from Sonic for supper that night!

Food Aversions: I'm still hating on bananas... and I find that I don't really enjoy burgers, which makes me sad because we ate at my favorite burger place this week and I had to get chicken.  Yep- all of that is still the same.

Symptoms: Again with the tears this week... probably the fact that John Mark was graduating from pre-k didn't help my emotional state!  I'm also finally able to eat a full meal without feeling like I might explode, which is nice.

Best Moment: Looking through old pictures of John Mark, and wondering what this new baby will look like and be like...

new beginnings

"We went through fire and flood, but you brought us to a place of great abundance." Psalm 66:12

It's not new information that 2011 hasn't been the best year for us.  And while I don't know that the trials of this life are in any way over, I can say that we have reached a place of rest for this moment.

After three months of looking, Micah started a new job two weeks ago.  God was so faithful and opened a door for our family at the exact moment we needed it.  If you had asked us when this search began if this was our first choice, we wouldn't have said yes.  But things changed- most importantly, our hearts- and we joyfully took the first step in this new direction.

Today we joined a new family of believers.  After prayer and seeking, we felt led to become a part of Heritage Baptist.  Micah grew up in their student ministry and his family goes there.  We spent a few weeks going to services and today went to an incredible small group.  It's strange going to a new church and making new friends, but I know the Lord is there.

I know that our journey isn't over... because there's so much more I have left to learn.  But if there's anything I've learned in all of this- it's that God is good.  He is faithful.  And His ways are SO MUCH higher than anything I could ever imagine.  So for today, I find myself on my knees, thankful for all that He has done for us.

And I find myself here on my knees again
Caught up in grace like an avalanche
Nothing compares to this love
Burning in my heart
--like an avalanche, hillsong united

Week 12

I was lazy and forgot to take a picture.  In the interest of getting this post up for those of you interested, I'm skipping it this week... it's pretty much the same as last week's anyway.


How Far Along: 12 weeks

How big is Baby? 3 inches, 0.5 ounces- about the size of a peach

Total Weight Gain/Loss: we don't own a scale... so I need to remember to weigh myself at the gym next time I go or else this will stay the same between each visit!

Maternity Clothes: Still rocking the belly band- seriously best $17 spent so far!  And yes, I still need Micah to get the tub of maternity clothes out of the attic. 

Gender: We won't know for another 5 or 6 weeks... hopefully we'll schedule that ultrasound at my next appointment.  Although JM is still holding onto his little sister theory!

Movement: nothing yet

Sleep: I think I jinxed myself with saying I was sleeping good.  I was awake for long 3 hour stretches twice this week... And I can make it until about 5:30 before I have to use the bathroom- which is annoying since I get up at 6! 

What I miss: Drippy eggs!  I made breakfast for dinner this week and all I wanted was a sunny-side up egg with my breakfast potatoes...

Cravings: Baby dill pickles from Target- I bought a small jar of them on Monday and polished it off before the end of the week.  Don't worry, I went for the big jar this time.  And today during church, I found myself thinking nonstop about onion rings from Johnnie's... so Micah humored me and picked up an order for me to eat with the bbq chicken I had made for lunch.

Food Aversions: I'm still hating on bananas... and I find that I don't really enjoy burgers, which makes me sad because we ate at my favorite burger place this week and I had to get chicken.

Symptoms: I think my hips are starting their first spread.  All week when I got out of bed, they felt creaky and stiff.

Best Moment: Listening to John Mark say sweet things about the baby- I have a list going of things he has said that I need to post.  Maybe I'll get to that this week... I still owe you all the stories of telling people!

Week 11

How Far Along: 11 weeks

How big is Baby? 2.5 inches, 0.5 ounces- about the size of a large plum

Total Weight Gain/Loss: up 1 pound... only 59 more to catch me up to my weight gain with JM

Maternity Clothes: I have lost the ability to button any of my current pants, so I'm rocking the belly band... everything else is normal, for now.  I still need Micah to get the tub of maternity clothes out of the attic. 

Gender: We won't know for another 5 or 6 weeks... hopefully we'll schedule that ultrasound at my next appointment.  Although JM is still holding onto his little sister theory!

Movement: nothing yet

Sleep: I've actually been sleeping pretty good.  I wake up a couple times a night- usually from a CRAZY dream- but I fall back asleep fairly quickly. 

What I miss: Sandwiches!!  I've been to 3 different restaurants this week and all I wanted was a cold ham or turkey sandwich... also, RUNNING!  I'm just now getting energy back, and I'm itching to get back to the gym.  I don't foresee any intense running in my future, but now that I'm feeling better, I hope to be back in the gym this week.

Cravings: Don't judge me, but I've been eating pimento cheese sandwiches like nobody's business... Also, I could probably eat my weight in tacos!

Food Aversions: Bananas!!  the thought of eating a banana makes me want to puke.  I also don't want anything to do with coffee...

Symptoms: Exhaustion... and emotions... I could cry about anything these days!

Best Moment: Our appointment on Monday where we got to see our baby again and see the heartbeat... also making the big reveal.  Praise the Lord no more secrets!!

finding out...

John Mark is almost 5 years old.  I'll go ahead and throw it out there that in the span of those years, I've had a few "I think I might be pregnant" moments... The cashier at Walgreens probably knows me as the crazy pregnancy test lady.  Obviously, none of those tests came up positive.  All that to say- thinking I could be pregnant for whatever reason wasn't that new of an idea for me- or Lesley.  You'll see why she's part of this story in a minute.

One night, about 6 weeks ago, Lesley and Mallory had picked me up from the hospital to get cupcakes.  We were laughing about pregnancy tests and I was saying I needed to buy one.  Mal offered to bring one over.  I took the test and the results were a little... inconclusive.  I swore at just the right angle you could see a hint of a cross.  We all laughed about it and held it up to the light, but nothing more was really said about it.  But in my heart, I knew.  I think I knew before I even took the test that night...

A few days later, Micah was spending the night in the hospital with his mom.  Lesley was at the house keeping me company.  Somehow the inconclusive test came up and I told her she should go to walgreens and get another test- and cookie dough.  So, being the good friend that she is, she went- and ran into lots of people she knew trying to get the goods.

She came back to my house, I finished the water I was drinking and went to the bathroom.  I came back and we continued watching That 70's Show, our netflix choice of the evening.  I hopped up and went to the bathroom and saw THIS:

Immediately I yelled "LESLEY... OMG OMG OMG..."
To which she replied "what?  wait, that's not funny..."
I ran out of the bathroom and showed her the test...

At this point the test is sitting on the couch between us and we're both just staring at it.  We're alternating between staring at the test and at each other saying "OH MY WORD..."

the details

Earlier today I posted this picture to facebook-
an announcement, one you've all waited for, I'm sure!

To say he's excited would be the understatement of the century.
In fact, when we told him, he did a double fist-pump and said:
"YES!  I finally get the baby sister I've always wanted!!"
*note, we do NOT know that it's a baby sister...*

Now to answer all those questions-
I am due November 26th.
That puts me at 10 weeks and 4 days.
We've known for about 5 weeks.

I haven't really been sick (sorry!)...
I have been exhausted...
No, I did not run the marathon on Sunday.
I have been eating ridiculous amounts of food.

The Lord has given us a precious blessing in the midst of an otherwise painful, difficult time.
We are praising Him continually.
I'll fill you in on all the other stories soon!

"Let all that I am praise the Lord 
with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
Let all that I am praise the Lord;
may I never forget the good things he does for me."
Psalm 103:1-2