what's your manna?

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."  Hebrews 4:12

I love this verse and the promise that every time I read His word, He wants to speak to me.  No matter the number of times I have read a story, I can learn something new.

I've read the stories of the Israelite journey to the Promised Land more times that I could ever count.  With each and every reading, I've judged those silly people more times than I want to admit.  And each time I've judged them, I've felt conviction over the moments in my life when I have done the same thing.

But last night as I read this story, a verse stood out to me in a way it never has.  "And we hate this wretched manna."  Pretty harsh words from a people who, 40 days prior to this had begged God for this very thing.

And it struck me- I DO THE SAME THING.  As I look over my life, I can think of two very specific times in my life I have lived in bondage- my Egypt.

Both times, the Lord moved in mighty ways to set me free.  I walked out of my Egypt head held high and marched across the Red Sea.  I watched as my enemies were drowned as the water crashed down onto them.  I knew in my heart of hearts that the Lord had moved- and provided me this opportunity, this freedom.

I walked along, basking in new found freedom, until my heart became calloused.  I noticed that I was hungry and cried out to the Lord.  He was gracious (so very, very gracious) and sent manna from heaven.  It was sweet, unexplainable and nothing I had ever experienced before.  My heart was happy again.

Weeks turned to years and eventually the manna started to get old.  What I had once viewed as an amazing and perfect gift from the Lord quickly turned to something else- an annoyance in my life.  I found myself exclaiming "I hate this wretched manna..." and wondering if maybe God misunderstood what I had asked for.  And asking him to maybe make the manna a little more like ________.

Isn't it funny how we can pray and pray and ask God to give us something.  And for a while that something exceeds our expectations and makes us happy... but as our happiness becomes more attached to the blessing, we forget the Giver of that gift.  We find ourselves loathing the very thing we asked for all those years ago.

And so I ask you today- what is your manna?


forgive me, Lord.  i have taken so many blessings in my life for granted.  i have become complacent in the wilderness without trusting you to move.  i've given up and stopped moving forward towards the freedom you've promised to me.