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Saturday, July 30, 2011

sheryl irene rigdon, 1955-2011

After a 5 month battle with cancer, Micah's precious mom went to be with her Jesus on Thursday.  It's strange how so many emotions can be wrapped up in a single event. 

There is sadness- a sorrow that her life on earth is over... weeping over the two grandchildren who will never meet their grandmother.  Sadness for the husband and children who are left behind to pick up life and somehow move on.

There is rejoicing- her body is whole and no longer in pain... she is with her Maker, finally getting the answers to those questions, meeting those beloved attributes for herself.

There are sleepless nights- when the loneliness and depth of emotions seem too overwhelming to carry on... when the tears are so continual, it seems impossible to cry any more.

There is love- an awesome remembrance over the love shown to each of us, and a gratefulness for each day spent giving and receiving that love.  Love between the family as each person comes together and forms a strength and bond that will carry on for many years to come.

There is thanksgiving- thankfulness for the life lived, the privilege of having lived life with such an incredible woman who overcame great difficulty to become a woman of faith... gratefulness at the 5 months given to us to prepare and say goodbye...

A thousand more emotions pass through our hearts and mind each minute of the day, but through every step of the way, there is an overwhelming sense of peace.  "The peace that surpasses all understanding" has been so evident and real, that it cannot be argued that we serve a sovereign God.  And while we cannot understand His timing or His purpose, we must rest in His goodness.

"Because of the LORD’s great love 
we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; 

great is your faithfulness." 
Lamentations 3:22-23 

*to read the obituary and for more information regarding the services, click here.

Friday, July 08, 2011

mommy guilt

This pregnancy has been so much the same as my first with JM.  And in other ways, it couldn't be more different.  Which I guess is pretty normal...

Some of these differences I expected.  I knew that I would be a little more nervous this time around.  When I got pregnant with JM, I had nothing to really compare it to.  I was one of the first of my friends to be pregnant and everything went so normal.  In the years since JM was born, I've known a lot of people who have dealt with really hard things surrounding pregnancy.  So I knew I would be scared.

The one thing I couldn't have seen coming was the GUILT I have felt over having another baby and what this means for John Mark.  It's been the three of us for FIVE years- that's a long time.  We have our ways of doing things... JM has been our world and life for so long- it's hard to imagine throwing another person into the mix.  Throw in the 5 THOUSAND comments I have heard about his world being rocked and how much life is going to change... blah, blah, blah... I can quickly become a mess.

Don't get me wrong- none of this is coming from my sweet boy.  He couldn't be more excited to finally be a big brother... and he loves this baby so much.  Today he told me that he will change all of her diapers so I won't have to.  Precious...  But his world has changed so much just by other circumstances this year, that it makes me sad to know this is throwing something else into the mix.

So I've spent a great deal of time praying that the Lord will calm my heart.  Reading verses reminding me that this is all a part of His divine plan- none of this is a surprise.  I have learned so much in this past year about the sovereignty of the Lord.  I just need to rest in that during this joyous time as I have learned to in the trials.


"The fear of man and what they plan will fade
But we know You alone are God of every day...
My hope is in the Lord."
--Day after Day, Kristian Stanfill

Sunday, July 03, 2011

Week 19

*let's just ignore the top half of this photo... it was 11:00 when I remembered I needed to take a picture and was too lazy to do anything but get off the couch with the camera... we'll just pretend my hair isn't a hot mess and I actually still have make-up on!


How Far Along: 19 weeks

How big is Baby? 6.5 inches, 8 ounces... although the ultrasound said 11 ounces- already a big one! :)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 9 pounds- but after tomorrow's 4th of July feast, I fully expect it to be more

Maternity Clothes: yes... I feel like this question is getting repetitive... let's just assume I'm only wearing maternity from here on out.  I'll let you know when I outgrow the clothes I have right now.

Gender: GIRL!  Lucy Kate Rigdon

Movement: Yes!  She's definitely a wiggler... it was fun to see her moving at the ultrasound.  And she still LOVES her big brother's laugh!

Sleep: another restless week... I guess I should just get used to it.  I did bring another pillow in to put between my knees, and that has helped my hips not be as stiff in the mornings.

What I miss: normal clothes... sleeping... running

Cravings: water... is that a weird thing to crave?  I have seriously been so thirsty all week!

Food Aversions: I think I might be over most of these for now? Except for bananas...

Symptoms: This week I had some serious pain in my right side and hips... ligaments stretching, no fun!

Best Moment: The ultrasound on Friday and finding out we're having a girl- and that she's healthy!

Friday, July 01, 2011

It's A...

GIRL!



Lucy Kate Rigdon